5 Everyday Sex Tips From a Sex Magic Practitioner

Learn the basics of sex magic from a real witchy woman. View All

The best way to start sex magic is through writing. It’s helpful to transmute — or change the nature of something as if through alchemical means — which allows thoughts to form into the tangible realm. If you write in a diary, create dream boards or make collages, this will sound familiar to you. Rather than confessions or secrets, let your journal be a platform for manifesting. Fill it with dream diagrams, animate it with goal-setting glorification.

For the more advanced, pentagrams, symbols, sigils, veves, and runes (cuneiforms or futharks) work wonders. Antique alphabets, characters and figures have been used across the globe and stand the test of time. Find the trademark that works best for you. No matter which technique you choose, the point is to create something tangible. You can also try automatic writing, which involves invoking spirits and allowing them to speak through you. Remember that we need other energies to assist our magic.

For me, writing is declaring who I am or will become. It’s letting dreams sail into the universe on the wings of a raven. And it’s preparing myself for transitions. I use my own body to spark flame for alchemical processes.

2. Make friends with ghosts & spirits

Inspired by spirits (or demons should you wish to work with dark forces), automatic writing falls into an advanced category of sex magic trimmings, but by all means try it — don’t shy away. Break into portals and remove walls. Set the mood, light candles, meditate and talk to spirits. They are waiting and listening, ready to intervene. Do not be afraid of ghosts and spirits, for they hold the skeleton key that will unlock potential.

3. Make an altar

Collecting items is quite simple. Gather whatever it is that makes your body quiver — from your deepest, darkest desires to your most innocent longings. Any of the following items are suggested: flowers or rocks, locks of hair, fingernails, menstrual blood, fallen leaves, candle wax, or bound herbs. Start building, placing the items together or inside a special box. May each piece have a special place in your heart; after all, even the tiniest blade of grass matters if you say it does. Welcome each one to the altar. (Yes, you are building an altar.) And with each offering, the altar absorbs your charge.

The ideal altar for sex magic will include all four elements (earth, air, water, fire) plus the fifth (ether). That’s your calling, your divine right, your life’s purpose — you decide how that looks on the altar. But the secret is placing ether as the focal point in order to fortify your sex magic. This will elevate your powers.

4. Abstinence

A huge part of sex magic is avoiding sex. Yep, you read that right. Sex magic is not just about having sex all the time, although there is a time and a place for that sort of sex magic. In order to receive maximum benefits of sex magic, the point is to control energy. It’s like a lot like teasing — sexual stimulation reaches peak and the need to release intensifies. Some might know this from tantric sex sessions. For those who practice yoga, especially kundalini, this will sound familiar. It’s moving the energies throughout the chakras and firing each one as if with a spark. Manipulating energy is the key to sex magic.

The power unleashed during sex magic will be double, even triple, because you didn’t give in. When you control self — both body and ego — you relinquish fears. You trust the universe and let divine timing take over. By concentrating that energy then channeling it into your heart’s desire, your wish becomes more potent. The best sex magic is one that waits for a cosmic whisper that says, “Now is the time — go for it.”

5. Putting sex magic into practice

If you want to do full-on sex magic spells (because don’t we all?), take your items and your writings and make a grave for them. Bury them under the full moon, naked. Chant them as if in song. Place them under the mattress where you have sex. Do not underestimate the power of masturbation as a way to charge sex magic amulets. Now things get even more interesting when you realize all you need is yourself. After all, women’s bodies hold enough magic to make dozens of spells a million times over.

Have sex with your magic items nearby. Have your altar within arm’s reach or at least visible, and keep those writings close at hand. Get a sex orb (an imagined ball of creativity that ignites your sexual experience) rolling above your head as you ride the waves of physical pleasure. Paint symbols on your body and on your partner’s body. Use sexual fluids and energy conductors. Menstrual blood and semen explode with magical powers — they can be collected or used in rituals as you see fit.

To charge a spell, place intention on the thought form — concentrate through breathing techniques. Fire it with emotion and a pure heart — offer it to your altar and allow energies to blossom. Then focus your wishes into an orgasmic state as you imagine your wish coming to fruition. Sex magic primes us for the changes about to happen. It allows our souls to explode wiith bliss. And in that moment of orgasmic transcendence, we become our truest selves — free from pain, fear and judgment.

Sex magic starts with intention. The mere desire spawns magic. And the elements emanate from there. What you want to avoid, though, is any negative believes, doubts, or destructive talk — and that holds true in sex magic and the rest of your life. The only destruction that should take place is between you and barriers, between your dreams and your fears. Break down those walls, believe in sex magic, and start practicing today — and let spirit guide you. You can thank me tomorrow.

A version of this story was published January 2018.

Before you go, check out the six types of orgasms you probably didn’t know you could have:

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FAQ

The Secret Origins of Sex Magic You Never Knew

Sex magic has no single “moment of invention,” but it shows up whenever people use sex as a bridge between the body and something bigger—God, the universe, or the unseen world. At its simplest, sex magic is the practice of using sexual arousal and orgasm on purpose, as a kind of energy to focus a ritual, intention, or spiritual experience. In many cultures, this has always been about fertility and life, not just personal pleasure.

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