Here are the most popular sex positions for hetero and queer couples - triple j
If you’re looking for some new ideas to mix things up, or you’re just starting out your sex journey - here are ten of the most popular sex positions for hetero, and queer couples. Dee Salmin
Posted 27 Jul 202227 Jul 2022Wed 27 Jul 2022 at 3:28am
When it comes to sex positions, a lot of the articles/books are very penis into vagina centric, but here at The Hook Up, we’re all about inclusivity, so whether you’re gay, straight, bi, here are the top ten sex positions and how to do them - for everyone.
1. Doggy
Woof.
On our Instagram @triplejthehookup this position came out on top! 35% of you voted for doggy as your favourite position.
You told us that doggy was one of your favs for deep penetration and pleasure and sex therapist Christopher Brett-Renes says Doggy is a go-to for gay guys.
“The bottom is normally on all fours, or they can have their head down and bum up with the top either on their knees or standing with the bottom on the edge of the bed.”
If we’re talking two people with vulvas, you can definitely still enjoy doggy with a strap-on. Or just grind and rub up against each other, inserting fingers or massaging your partner’s clit or nipples.
Sexologist Lauren French says if you want to get deeper penetration, you could move your arms down so you’re resting on your forearms and your face is down more.
“I think that’s a better angle than hands and knees. and maybe propped up with a pillow you’re probably looking at your deepest.”
2. Missionary
That’s right, ain’t nothing vanilla about missionary. It’s your second fav position!
Lauren says even though missionary gets a bit of a bad rap, it’s a really great position for intimacy. You know all that eye gazing, close face type stuff.
“Also you can change depth with missionary by just putting some pillows under whoever’s on the bottom and really raising it which can really change the penetration level, amazingly.”
Chris says it can be a little bit difficult for two people with penises if you aren’t flexible.
“The bottom (receptive partner) lays on their back, but due to the location of the anus, often their legs have to come up so that the top (inserting partner) can actually penetrate them.”
For vulva on vulva action, again you can use a strap on, or even just your fingers!
3. cowgirl/cowboy/cowthey ;)
Yeee haw!
Another classic, Chris says cowboy is when the bottom is straddling the top who is laying on the bed (or floor, or wherever) and is looking at the top.
“What is great about cowboy is that it gives the bottom control over speed as well as depth of penetration.”
Works the exact same way for cowgirl - if we’re talking guy and gal partners. If you’re lying on the bottom, you can play with your partner’s breasts/nipples.
And Lauren says if you want to spice it up, you can do:
4. Reverse cowgirl
“So you’ve got the lovely lady facing back facing towards the feet. It’s a really great butt shot and you can be on your feet or knees.”
5. Spooning
A gorgeous lazy morning half asleep vibe! And can also be very intimate.
“So obviously you’ve got both people lying on their sides, one person behind. I think a lot of spooning is often like either in the kind of bent leg position or one leg is kind of up a little bit for the person in front to give a little bit of access,” says Lauren.
It can be a great position for two people with vulvas as well, whether the big spoon just uses their fingers to play with the little spoons clit and/or breasts. Or they use a strap on here as well.
“I love these positions because it’s easy access to the clit. It means it’s much more likely that we’re going to have some orgasming which is amazing.”
Chris says it’s a super intimate position for two people with penises too.
“This can be a very intimate position with the little spoon (bottom) laying in front of the big spoon (top) and being penetrated from behind. This position lends itself to kissing and touching of each other’s bodies.”
6. 69
A true queer fav!
Despite 69 having a bit of an old school rep, it’s definitely a position that’s used a lot for same-sex partners.
If you don’t know what it is, “we’re talking about giving oral sex to each other at the exact same time. So going down on each other, and it creates that six nine kind of shape.”
Lauren also says for some couples height can get in the way.
“If you’ve got a very tall partner or a very short partner 69 becomes very problematic.”
Sex Therapist Naomi Hutchings says for queer women laying 69 is super common.
“You’re laying there in between the legs. It’s just more gentle. And sometimes people have sore body parts or they’re tired and so that can be a little more comfortable.”
Chris also agrees to try work out which 69 works for you.
“For some, laying on their sides and doing it is best, particularly if your sexual partner is hung, while others find having one partner laying on the bed and the other on top of them can work, however, for the one on the bottom it can be challenging.”
7. Scissoring
Often joked about when it comes to lesbian sex, but Naomi says scissoring “is not necessarily the go-to but it absolutely happens.”
If you don’t know how it works, have your partner lie on their side and then you straddle their legs. So you want to try and get both of your clits rubbing against each other.
“I saw this funny meme about it and almost pulling your back out and people giggle about it. I’m queer, we all talk about it, but yeah lots of people absolutely love it because it’s rubbing.
And for a lot of people rubbing is a lovely way for them to experience sexual pleasure and orgasm.”
8. Prone boning
An underrated fav!
Super simple, Chris says for gay guys “the bottom is laying flat with the top penetrating from behind and laying on them.”
For guy on gal action, prone boning can increase a lot of sensations.
“Legs together can increase a lot of sensations but it does also decrease like movement ability,” says Lauren.
“Like do you move your head? How do you breathe? I’m just thinking of a head in a pillow. While you’re just getting ploughed.”
9. Oral
Oral is mwa *chefs kiss* and some would say a very important part of foreplay/sex.
If you’re sleeping with someone with a vulva, whether they’re sitting on your face, or you’re going down on them, oral can play a huge part in getting that person to orgasm.
“There are obviously other ways as well but we know that mouth on the vulva tends to be the one that gets people to the orgasm the most but also using fingers or rubbing around the vulva as well,” says Naomi.
And Chris says a lot of guys prefer oral sex to anal sex.
“Oral sex is when a sexual partner sucks (does NOT BLOW) on the recipient’s penis. A lot of guys prefer oral to anal sex, and for others oral can be a real turn off - so I would encourage you to talk to your sexual partners about what you do and don’t like.”
10. Mutual maz
If you’re not really in the mood for getting all bendy and having sex, Lauren says masturbating at the same time and watching each other can be really hot.
“Like watching your partner have an orgasm, while you’re having an orgasm, that sounds like an incredibly hot experience to me.”
Gimme something a bit more spicy
If all of these positions are already on rotation in your sex life and you’re wanting to try something new or spice it up a bit more, Lauren says try changing the location up. You could try shower sex, or car sex, or do it on the kitchen counter. You could add a toy into the mix. But she also says make sure you don’t get too carried away.
“Don’t try to do like four new things all at once. A lot of people go, ‘I want to spice things up. So I’m going to get a toy. We’re going to do a new position, it’s going to be in the shower, and it’s going to be during the day.’
And I’m like, well, that’s just a great recipe for falling over and rolling an ankle.
So pick one fun new thing you want to try. Warn your partner about it before you go to do it so that they have prep time and then kind of plan it out from there. But don’t try and reinvent the entire wheel. Just add a little bit of something new.”
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FAQ
Why is it called the 69 sex position?
Sixty-nine is a common nickname for when sexual partners give each other oral stimulation at the same time. The nickname refers to the positions of the bodies fitting together like the shape of the number 69.7 thg 7, 2023
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The O Method is a sex magick ritual that allows you to use the energy created during orgasm to influence the Universe in a desired direction. This ritual harnesses your sacral energy, the chakra fueling your creativity, pleasure, and sexual gratification.Jan 12, 2025
What is the spiritual sex ritual?
The original act of tantric sex is a very focused activity that is intended to help the partners reach a state of bliss without orgasm. Tantra teaches that this is a ritual and a way of worshipping, not an act that is intended for regular sexual activity.Jul 2, 2023
Why is it called the 69 sex position?
Sixty-nine is a common nickname for when sexual partners give each other oral stimulation at the same time. The nickname refers to the positions of the bodies fitting together like the shape of the number 69.7 thg 7, 2023
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