A master matchmaker has listed the crucial questions every woman should ask to determine if they are sexually compatible with a man.

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PreviousNext By LAURA HOUSE FOR DAILY MAIL AUSTRALIA

Published: 18:32 EDT, 6 July 2025 | Updated: 18:39 EDT, 6 July 2025

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A master matchmaker has listed the crucial questions every woman should ask to determine if they are sexually compatible with a man.

Louanne Ward, a certified relationship expert with two decades of experience, says it’s important to dive deep and ask the hard questions early on to establish a solid foundation as the connection deepens.

Previously, Louanne shared the eight ‘golden’ questions best asked at the very early stages of dating, and the 15 follow-up questions to ask once you’re exclusive.

Here, in part three of her compatibility series, Louanne shares the six questions that will reveal whether you are a sexual match - something she describes as ’the main ingredient’ of a relationship.

Part 3: The real test of compatibility

We’ve covered the crucial questions for assessing compatibility, but without addressing sex and intimacy, you’re missing the main ingredient - it’s like baking a cake without sugar.

In the early phases of a relationship, sexual chemistry often comes naturally and the excitement of the honeymoon phase makes everything feel perfect. But as time goes on, that dynamic can change and the importance of maintaining a strong sexual connection becomes clear.

When determining long-term compatibility, it’s essential to include discussions about sex and intimacy. These are the most important aspects of a lasting relationship.

Louanne Ward, a certified relationship expert with two decades of experience, says it’s important to dive deep and ask the hard questions early on to establish a solid foundation

1. Describe your ideal sexual relationship. How often would you have sex? And what would it consist of?

Understanding how often a partner desires sex and what they envision in their ideal sexual relationship helps to identify if your sexual needs align.

Mismatched sexual frequencies or desires can lead to frustration, dissatisfaction and even resentment over time.

2. What do you believe contributes to maintaining a strong sexual connection?

This addresses the future efforts required to keep a sexual relationship fulfilling. A solid sexual connection often involves more than just physical attraction; it also requires emotional intimacy, communication and creativity/variety.

What they believe is necessary to sustain connection can reveal their values and commitment to the relationship.

3. Is there anything you like that you feel could turn me off if I knew about it?

This creates a safe space to share sexual preferences or fantasies that might be unconventional or less commonly discussed. It also helps identify potential incompatibilities early on, allowing both partners to assess whether they can comfortably accommodate each other’s desires or whether these differences might cause friction.

When should you bring up sex and intimacy in a relationship?

These conversations are best had sooner rather than later. Definitely don’t bring it up on the first date, but these are important discussions to have as you are getting to know someone and deciding if they are right for you.

The more open and comfortable you are in the early stages, the more likely you are to continue to be throughout the relationship.

It isn’t always easy to discuss fantasies and sexual boundaries, so it is important you have already established trust and safety.

As a rule of thumb, you are ready to have this open discussion about sex when you are ready to be exclusive. So about three months into the relationship.

You may want to maintain an element of privacy: keep some things sacred if you don’t feel you have reached the appropriate level of closeness. The timing of the questions is dependent on the emotional connection.

However Louanne suggests mentioning anything that is a ‘hard no’ for you before you even have sex.

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Do you REALLY know the man you’re falling in love with? Expert reveals 15 ‘make-or-break’ questions

4. Do you have a recurring fantasy that you’d like to play out before you could fully commit to one person?

This helps to uncover any potential barriers to full commitment, such as unfulfilled sexual desires that might lead to dissatisfaction or infidelity later on. Discussing fantasies openly allows you both to understand each other’s sexual needs and whether those needs can be met within the relationship.

5. What are your views on threesomes, partner swapping and monogamy?

It’s crucial to understand your partner’s views on sexual exclusivity and explore their comfort level with different forms of sexual expression.

While some people are strictly monogamous, others might be open to non-traditional arrangements.

Knowing where your partner stands on these issues is essential to ensure that both of you share the same expectations regarding fidelity and sexual boundaries.

6. Do you have any firm boundaries or deal-breakers?

This question is key because it sets the stage for understanding what each partner considers non-negotiable in a sexual relationship. Boundaries are vital for mutual respect, and by discussing these early on, you can prevent crossing lines that might cause harm or discomfort and ensure that both partners’ needs are respected.

Sex and intimacy play a crucial role in the dynamics of a relationship, influencing both emotional connection and long-term compatibility

What is the role of sex and intimacy in a relationship?

Sex and intimacy play a crucial role in the dynamics of a relationship, influencing both emotional connection and long-term compatibility. The combination of sexual attraction, romantic love and attachment are indistinct yet interconnected systems in the brain that evolved to promote bonding and reproduction.

These systems underscore the importance of sexual intimacy as not just a physical act but a complex interplay of emotional and psychological factors that sustain relationships over time.

1. Bonding and emotional connection

Sexual intimacy can deepen the emotional bond and sense of closeness and security. The release of oxytocin, often referred to as the ’love hormone,’ supports this bond, which plays a significant role in pair bonding and long-term attachment.

2. Communication of desires and needs

Sex serves as a powerful form of non-verbal communication, where the expression of desires, affection, and emotional states are played out. The ability to openly discuss and fulfil each other’s sexual needs can lead to greater relationship satisfaction and a stronger connection.

When sex is absent or unsatisfying, it can lead to decreased interest and intimacy overall, potentially opening the door to infidelity

3. Stress relief and conflict resolution

Intimacy can significantly reduce stress and tension within a relationship. Physical touch and sexual activity are known to lower cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress, which helps manage anxiety and serves as a buffer during times of conflict. Sex can also act as a reset mechanism, helping to reconnect emotionally after disagreements, thereby strengthening their bond.

4. Exclusive connection

In a monogamous relationship, sex is the one intimate act that partners share exclusively with each other, creating a special connection that distinguishes their bond from all other relationships. This exclusivity fosters a deeper sense of trust and intimacy. Even in polyamorous relationships, the rules and boundaries must be established highlighting the significance of some exclusivity surrounding intimate bonds.

5. Trust and exploration

Sexual intimacy opens the pathway to explore fantasies and desires, which can deepen trust. When you feel safe and respected, you are more likely to act out a fantasy, which leads to greater openness and honesty in other areas of the relationship. Conversely, when sex is absent or unsatisfying, it can lead to decreased interest and intimacy overall, potentially opening the door to infidelity.

READ PART ONE: The eight questions every woman should ask to determine compatibility in the early phases of dating

READ PART TWO: The 15 questions EVERY woman must ask once they go ’exclusive’ to determine true compatibility: ‘Make or break’

These conversations are best had sooner rather than later. Definitely don’t bring it up on the first date, but these are important discussions to have as you are getting to know someone and deciding if they are right for you.

The more open and comfortable you are in the early stages, the more likely you are to continue to be throughout the relationship.

It isn’t always easy to discuss fantasies and sexual boundaries, so it is important you have already established trust and safety.

As a rule of thumb, you are ready to have this open discussion about sex when you are ready to be exclusive. So about three months into the relationship.

You may want to maintain an element of privacy: keep some things sacred if you don’t feel you have reached the appropriate level of closeness. The timing of the questions is dependent on the emotional connection.

However Louanne suggests mentioning anything that is a ‘hard no’ for you before you even have sex.

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Do you REALLY know the man you’re falling in love with? Expert reveals 15 ‘make-or-break’ questions

Share or comment on this article: Yes, the sex may be good right now. But these six magic questions determine if a couple is REALLY compatible in the bedroom… long after the honeymoon phase is over

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• Eddie Benjamin posts heartfelt tribute to his ‘soulmate’ Justin Bieber as the young Aussie admits making half of new album Swag: ‘My love is so deep’

• 90 Day Fiance star Eric Rosenbrook ‘arrested after slapping his wife when she was holding their baby’

• Woody Harrelson fans left shocked after discovering who his father is as they claim ‘I never knew this!’

• EXCLUSIVEBeverly Hills, 90210 actor, 70, who played iconic father looks unrecognizable on very rare outing… can you guess who?

• She’s a movie star who worked with Jennifer Aniston, dated Jennifer Lopez’s ex and has a cool mom, who is she?

• Makeup-free Reese Witherspoon, 49, looks much younger than her years while dressed down in NYC

• Melania Trump makes rare public statement with tribute to Camp Mystic girls caught up in catastrophic Texas floods

• Jason Kelce reveals Taylor Swift’s influence on his and Travis’ karaoke performance

• EXCLUSIVEKate’s bodyblow at her most vulnerable time: Eye-opening departure is like a divorce… every woman will understand: LIZ JONES

• Scarlett Johansson’s husband Colin Jost reveals how he REALLY feels about her kissing Jonathan Bailey

• Bad news for Property Brothers amid HGTV cancelation bloodbath

• Justin Bieber’s most cryptic lyrics off new album Swag that point to marriage struggles with Hailey

• Conjoined twin Carmen Andrade MARRIES longtime fiancé… and had a very special requirement for her dress

• Serena Williams shows off her ripped physique in photos from gym session as sister Venus makes tennis comeback

• Emma Raducanu shows Leonardo DiCaprio how it’s done! Tennis star keeps cool on sweltering Center Court

• EXCLUSIVETravis and Jason Kelce tee off at A-List golf tournament amid rumors Taylor Swift could make surprise appearance

• Amanda Bynes goes for a power walk with pal Jalen Hemphill in Los Angeles after losing weight

• Meet Barron Trump’s ‘best friend’ Bo Loudon: The MAGA influencer who loves to flaunt his lavish lifestyle

• Paul McCartney, 83, gives shock three-word response about what fuels him onstage

• Adrianne Curry doesn’t look like this anymore! OG America’s Next Top Model star is unrecognisable as she goes completely grey

• Nicole Kidman FINALLY shows off her natural hair in rare sighting after wearing wigs for months

• Justin Bieber reaches MAJOR settlement with ex-manager Scooter Braun over years-long financial feud

• David Muir is BEATEN by young rival in key ratings metric…as he’s mocked for wearing tight t-shirt to floods

• Justin Bieber’s comeback crashes as surprise album Swag BLASTED by critics as a ‘messy cry for help’ amid his personal chaos

• Leo No-CAP-rio! Hollywood star, 50, leaves fellow tennis guests swooning at Wimbledon as he ditches his famous disguise

• Bob Dylan announces controversial new concert rule for UK tour all fans must follow

• Hailey Bieber wows in skimpy bikini as she soaks up the sun in Majorca after hitting back at ’losers’ who fuelled marriage trouble rumours

• EXCLUSIVESofia Vergara reveals her next move after being engulfed in Tom Brady romance rumors

• Royal fans think Prince William suffered an awkward moment during a state banquet for Emmanuel Macron - but here’s what really happened

• Justin Bieber slammed for shocking intimate act with Sexyy Red to plug new album Swag: ‘This is embarrassing!’

• EXCLUSIVEShe was on a massive ’60s TV show as a child, who is this beauty? Hint: it’s not Charlize Theron

• Teddi Mellencamp splits from new boyfriend after being trolled for dating amid stage 4 cancer battle

• Sofia Vergara celebrates 53rd birthday with ‘beau’ Douglas Chabbott… and NOT Tom Brady

• Scarlett Johansson looks worlds away from her usual style as she models short curly bob while filming her new movie in NYC

• Olivia Jade sizzles in a bikini during trip to Italy as she ‘continues to romance’ Euphoria star Jacob Elordi

• Bachelor vet Becca Tilley gets engaged to Hayley Kiyoko… after six years of dating

• Trump shares tender moment with Melania as they head to Texas to comfort flood victims

• Star-attraction Leonardo DiCaprio can’t take the heat at sweaty day 12 of Wimbledon as he joins Hollywood A-listers

• What’s her secret? Ugly Betty star looks half her age

• Prince William shows off his polo skills in annual Windsor charity match - as cousin Peter Phillips and his new flame Harriet Sperling turn out in support

• EXCLUSIVEThe extraordinary comment Christian Horner’s mom made about his relationship with Geri and why some say their downfall is ‘karma’

• Richie Rich undercover! Macaulay Culkin looks like a regular suburban dad on family day despite $18M wealth

• Racheal Ray suffers ANOTHER devastating career setback after pitiful meet and greet turnout

• EXCLUSIVEThe ‘desperate’ message Brad Pitt has sent his estranged children… as friends tell of ‘devastating’ new blow in ugly Angelina Jolie battle

• The tragedy of Superman’s original Lois Lane, the Hollywood star who ended up homeless, eating out of trash cans with a life in turmoil

• Brendan Fraser reunites with his castmates from The Mummy more than 26 years after the film debuted

• Justin Bieber fans slam ‘ridiculous’ prices the singer’s charging for his ‘basic’ new clothing brand: ‘Why is everything so expensive?’

• Anna Wintour beams as she arrives at Wimbledon after announcing Vogue shake-up - amid rumours Jeff Bezos could buy fashion Bible

• Romeo Beckham adds fuel to the fire with apparent dig at brother Brooklyn after ‘blocking’ him on Instagram amid explosive family feud

• Stunning NBA WAG to make ring girl return at Katie Taylor and Amanda Serrano fight

• How ‘feminist’ Meghan Markle has reinvented herself as a ’new Martha Stewart ‘, according to expert

• EXCLUSIVETroubled Justin Bieber’s plan for ‘double whammy’ after chaos of surprise album launch

• Fans all say the same thing as Travis and Jason Kelce perform wild karaoke duet ahead of star-studded golf tournament

• Plus-size model shares alarming warning about diversity in the fashion industry

• Lily Allen puts on a very racy display in red lace bra as she shows off the results of her boob job in latest snap

• Kim Zolciak reveals every plastic surgery she’s had including ‘mommy makeover’ after six kids

• Justin Bieber reveals he’s ‘got to change but won’t leave wife Hailey’ despite their problems in surprise new album lyrics as Rhode founder blasts their ’loser’ fans

• Kanye flashes a peace sign as he lands in Shanghai with Bianca Censori after fleeing LA following sexual assault claim from his ex-assistant

• EXCLUSIVEBrooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz’s Instagram accounts stop following his brothers Cruz and Romeo in yet more family drama

• Keeping up with the Obamas! Barack and Michelle team up with Seinfeld creator for new TV show

• Superman fans seriously divided over one game-changing scene as film hits cinemas - raging ‘what was James Gunn thinking?!’

• Netflix fans ‘binge the hell out of’ Lena Dunham’s new romcom series - as they’re left ’laughing and crying’ by ‘phenomenal’ leading lady

• Jenna Dewan and daughter Everly, 12, are the SAME height in sweet selfie

• Sex And The City star is UNRECOGNIZABLE as she attends Sun Valley ‘billionaires’ summer camp’

• Justin Bieber draws strong reaction over cryptic lyrics about Hailey marriage problems and social media meltdowns in new album Swag

• EXCLUSIVEThe truth about Tom Brady’s soccer team ownership at Birmingham… and why it’s no PR stunt

• Gwyneth Paltrow wears favorite $200 swimsuit after ditching strict diet in sneak peek of her luxury summer trip

• Margot Robbie looks glamorous in a sheer black dress as she celebrates her 35th birthday in Ibiza

• Carrie Bradshaw blasted as ‘insufferable’ by fans as she feuds with Miranda over handsome neighbor on And Just Like That

• Pregnant Vanessa Kirby showcases her baby bump in a navy hooded dress as she joins dazzling Julia Garner at Fantastic Four: First Steps photocall

• Hailey Bieber SLAMS ’losers’ who fueled marriage trouble rumors as she promotes Justin’s new album

• Is Isla Fisher quitting Hollywood? Aussie actress shocks by teasing new career move after finalising her divorce from Sacha Baron Cohen

• Cristiano Ronaldo’s girlfriend Georgina posts selfies dripping in diamonds on their yacht - after soccer star missed Diogo Jota’s funeral

• JoJo Siwa addresses pregnancy rumors amid her budding romance with Chris Hughes

• Kourtney Kardashian called out over ‘unprofessional’ Lemme promo that leaves even daughter Penelope cringing: ‘She literally hates working!’

• Morgan Riddle is the stunning Wimbledon WAG helping boyfriend Taylor Fritz plot Carlos Alcaraz’s downfall

• Sir Paul McCartney’s ex-wife Heather Mills, 57, looks smitten with her partner Mike Dickman, 39, during rare public appearance

• Chris Brown denies further charges over alleged bottle attack on victim in private Mayfair club

• Pregnant Vanessa Kirby and co-star Julia Garner look dazzling in all blue at Fantastic Four: First Steps premiere in London

• RHOC fans call out Tamra Judge for falsely claiming to have autism and for crocodile tears during therapy sessions

• Today hosts insult beloved 80s rocker TWICE in quick succession leaving him visibly offended

• Tom Felton continues to show his support for JK Rowling amid trans rights controversies as he attends Harry Potter and the Cursed Child 10 year theatre celebration

• Royal chaos as King Charles is accused of ‘slap in the face’ by late Queen’s personal aide over brazen move: RICHARD EDEN’S DIARY

• Lily Allen gives Oasis advice on how to deal with their famous feud on tour and reveals band are the reason she got into music -

• EXCLUSIVEThe insult Jennifer Aniston’s new ’lover’ wrote about his own sister that any new girlfriend should read… and the truth about his painful past

• Nicole Scherzinger makes ‘selfish’ admission about Liam Payne as she reminisces on working with him on his final project Building The Band

• Gary Coleman’s ex-wife justifies pulling the plug on star with shocking reason after flunking lie detector test

• Jennifer Lopez thanks Ben Affleck for the ‘scars you left on my heart’ as she performs revenge song in Spain

• Iconic Superman star blasts new reboot as ‘woke’ flop in wild tirade over immigration and Hollywood’s agenda

• Elvis’ ex meets her old American Idol honcho boyfriend for dinner in Malibu as they share a warm embrace

• Demi Lovato fans horrified after finding out about her ‘sexual assault’ prank from shocking resurfaced tweet

• EXCLUSIVEDay broken Amanda Bynes made a haunting request to me on the side of the street. It brought tears to my eyes… but explains so much: KATIE HIND

• Shaquille O’Neal stuns high school girls with selfless act on surprise visit to Staten Island

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